Satish Duggal

Childhood Memories

Once, I don’t know what grade I was in, I didn’t turn my papers for math, so I got zero. I thought I would do good, and when they started asking me, I said “Oh, here’s the test paper.”

They said, “Why do you have it?”

I said, “I don’t know, I just brought it with me after the test.”

They said, “You’re supposed to give it to the teacher after the test!” But I just brought it with me.

 

I didn’t know that I’m supposed to turn it in, I said I know the test, I know the questions, I know the answers, and I wrote the answers, but I kept the paper because I didn’t know that I was supposed to hand it in so they could look at it. I got in trouble because my mother found out I got zero. She went back to the school and explained them, but they said ‘No, no. Still zero.”

 

Duckback School Bag Ad from Indian Vintage Print Magazine (1980)
Image Source: Abhisays
 

 

Pride and Joy

My greatest achievement is my two kids. And where they are, what they are doing. How successful they are. They still…If they have any questions, they come and ask me. I think they are going to do so much greater than I ever did.” 

 

 

My Advice

My second greatest achievement is those people that I helped to move up in their career. Some took my advice, some didn’t. But those that took my advice and did good was my achievement. There are those that continuously ask for your advice but don’t take it. They still keep coming back and still don’t believe what I tell them. So I guess there was one guy who always wants my advice but never takes it. He’s very smart, very knowledgeable, very creative, but his financial situation is a mess. He doesn’t think he has to fix it. So he assumes somebody is not giving him what he deserves. So he keeps going after them rather than thinking ok what do I have to do to fix it. 

And there are some people, when I was in India working with people, who did well and they moved on. Most of the advice I gave them was more generic rather than more specific. Explaining to them simple things, for instance, you have to do your homework every day. Not just ok, I did it yesterday so I’m done for the rest of my life. So these things keep coming back and the learning never ends. So think about it, things that you do all the time, not just things you have to do one time.

When you think about things you have to do all the time, then you really find ways to learn it. When you find ways to learn it, that’s when it becomes an ongoing experience as opposed to doing it one time and then you do it and forget it.

Helene Dvorkin

Childhood Memories

 

The Bronx

I grew up in a neighborhood in the north Bronx that was across the street from a park. We lived across the street from a park, and we were very fortunate to live there because a lot of people lived in the city – building upon building. We also lived right near the Botanical Gardens. We used to go there, and my mom later worked there too.

Modern-day picture of the New York Botanical Gardens located in the Bronx. Founded in 1891, the gardens were added to the National Register of Historic Places in 1967. Image Source: Flickr

We used to run around the park, and play hide and seek, or we’d go up to the schoolyard and play there. But in our years, a lot of times we’d watch the boys play basketball. It was a very good neighborhood to grow up in. It was a mixture of Christian people, Jewish people, a lot of Italian people. It was a lot of fun.

 

 

Family

Up until probably two years old, my parents used to call me butterball ’cause I was round, and I had curls like Sydney does, and then I got thinner.

My aunt used to tell a story about when I slept over their house when my mother was in the hospital giving birth to my brother Barry. I was almost four years old then. I went into the room with my aunt and uncle, and they were in the bed. I said, “Are you two married?” So, they loved that, they thought it was so adorable. And I heard that story over and over and over again.

I didn’t get in a lot of trouble when I was young. I was pretty much a goody goody. But when I was bad, my father just gave me a look. He gave me that evil eye look and I knew: Do not do anything. You know? That’s how he was.

But, I really didn’t get in a lot of trouble. Maybe Barry, my brother sometimes, but even we got along pretty well. Unless he ate my Mallomars…

Mallomars are a chocolate-coated marshmallow and graham cracker treat. Coincidentally, the first box of Mallomars was sold in Union City, New Jersey, the childhood home of David’s father.
Image Source: aintitcool.com
 

 

An Accidental Stamp Collector

I don’t know if I really collected anything. For a while, I collected stamps because my uncle was in the import/export business. He would go to Japan and some other areas, and he’d bring me back stamps.

Close-up of a Japanese stamp with the number 30 on it, showing a crest of a mountain in front of a mountain lake, surrounded by Japanese writing
A Japanese stamp from 1961 honoring International Letter Writing Week. The stamp features a wood-block print called “Hakone” by Japanese artist Hiroshige, who died in 1858. Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

But it was just because they were brought to me. It wasn’t like I was going out of my way. My brother collected coins.

 

 

Mutt & Jeff

My childhood best friend was Ruth Glatterman. I met her in fifth grade. She was a new student, and she was very, very heavy. When she came in, I knew she felt awkward, and she sat next to me.

We really looked like the old cartoon, Mutt and Jeff. It’s about a tall string bean and a very heavy, young, short person, and they were best friends. Ruth and I were best friends for a long time, like through high school.

One page advertisement for Mutt and Jeff cartoon with two dolls holding up the sign and positive reviews scrolling across
A 1918 advertisement for the cartoon, Mutt and Jeff, in a trade journal called The Moving Picture World. Mutt & Jeff is also a slang term for good cop/bad cop interrogations and any other pair of people who contrast strongly with one another. Image Source: Internet Archives
 

 

American Bandstand

There used to be a show called American Bandstand with Dick Clark. Every day at 4 o’clock, I’d come home, and I would dance with the doorknob. You’d come with your friends, but sometimes if I was alone, I would dance with the doorknob and listen to American Bandstand.

American Bandstand 1967 – Mirage, Tommy James and the Shondells
Video Source: YouCanDanceToit!

I heard music from Dion and the Belmonts, a lot of ’50’s music. But then, in the 60’s, later on, it was the Beach Boys and then the Beatles in high school. The Beatles were amazing, and the evolution of their music… I had never seen that before… that they could change – one group not doing the same things over and over again.

But my favorite music in college was Motown and the Temptations. I loved to dance, and I had a boyfriend who loved to dance too. This was before Dad.

 

 

Love & Marriage

 

Meeting Chuck

I met Dad because I dated his friend. We used to double date, so we knew each other. And then, I broke up with the guy. He broke up with the girl. Then, about a year later, I was living on my own in Riverdale. A mutual friend saw me at the Universal Church on 78th and Central Park West.

The Fourth Universalist Society, a Unitarian Universalist Church located at 160 Central Park West in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. The church was built in 1898 and is nicknamed “the Cathedral of Universalism”. Image Source: Flickr

Instead of going to a bar, you’d have these group talks, like sensitivity talks and things. And, that’s how you would meet people. It was just a different way of doing it other than the bar, which I had done.

So, this guy, a mutual friend of ours, saw me and then he told dad, “Hey, Colleen’s there, so maybe you would like to go.” So he came later on.

I came out of a car, I saw him and I called him Jeff because they called him Jeff. But Dad didn’t recognize me! This was a year later. He says I changed a lot in that year.

So after that, it was very easy to go out with him because we knew each other. When Dad and I were dating we’d go to Stanley’s and, also Grunning’s Ice Cream, which is also not there anymore. But, it was very good ice cream.

 

 

Marriage

 
 

The secret to a successful relationship is patience. Patience, sense of humor, laughable moments you know?

 

 

Parenting

After you guys were born, we were very, very excited and happy – and tired!

A favorite story about Scott

 

We told Scott we were going to Atlanta, he was only four years old and he didn’t know what that meant, but he adjusted very well there. Then he came back, and in second grade he was afraid of going to a new school. He didn’t know who the teacher would be, and he said, “What is she gonna look like?” And I didn’t know either. Down the hall came Mrs. Debella. She was flowing, a tall willowy woman. I think he felt much better then. It was just fun to see him responding and being flexible like that. Being able to do that, it made it easier.

 

I always remember David being mischievous with Scott.

 

 

Living Through History

 

There were quite a lot of major historical things that I lived through. Not so much when I was a young kid, but you know, as the times were changing.

My first hero probably was John Glenn, the astronaut.

John Glenn was the first American to orbit the Earth, circling it three times in 1962. Before joining NASA, Glenn was US Marine Corps Aviator.
Image Source:
Wikimedia Commons.

And I remember when Kennedy was shot.

 

Well, I wasn’t at home, I was in high school and one of the teachers came to my Economics teacher and whispered something in his ear, and all of a sudden the room was very quiet because you could see the expression on his face. And then, he came and told us what happened and we all were dismissed early, and we were crying.

John F. Kennedy in a suit rides in the backseat of a convertible car with his wife Jackie in hat, smiling.
John F. Kennedy and his wife Jackie ride in a motorcade in Dallas, Texas on November 22, 1963. He was assassinated shortly after 12 noon and later laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetary. Image Source: Library of Congress
 

Then again, we had Martin Luther King. I was in college and there was a black club called the Kumbaya club, something like that. I went there and we went marching or walking with other black kids.

Civil Rights leaders marching from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial, August 28, 1963. Activists at this time engaged in sit-ins, freedom rides, protest marches, and voter-registering drives to try to achieve racial equality. Image Source: U.S. National Archives and Records Administration.
 

And then Robert F. Kennedy died. And so, it was all very, it was very surreal.

Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy was mortally wounded from a gunshot at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles in 1968.
Image source:
Wikimedia Commons
 

And, then, of course, the Vietnam War…

Some years later, it was a snow day in Atlanta when the shuttle blew up.  I was with Scott – he was four years old…

 

 

The World Series Earthquake, 1989

I was on the phone with Dad. Scott and Dad were both watching the World Series in San Francisco, and then I got off the phone and Scott came in. He was about 10.

So he said, “Earthquake! Earthquake Mom, in San Francisco!” I said, “What are you talking about?”

And then they showed, unfortunately, scenes later on of the Bay Bridge breaking in half. And David, was running around saying, “What’s an earthquake? What’s an earthquake?” And then he saw the bridge, and he said, “Did Daddy fall off the bridge?”

The collapse of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge from the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake. Because the earthquake happened during a live broadcast of the 1989 World Series, it’s sometimes called the World Series Earthquake. Image Source: Flickr

It took me a few hours ’til Dad got through to me because at that point there were no cell phones.

 

 

Adventures

 

On Safari

The safari was the most interesting trip we had together. Dad had heard about the trip, but I’m so excited that I went and so glad that I went. I would’ve probably been fearful to go, but dad was saying that so many people he knew were going.

On the safari, you’re seeing the animals right next to you, and you don’t know if they’re going to come at you. Sometimes, elephants looked like they were going to charge.

The first time we saw a lion, we were in the Jeep at night, which was completely open. All we had were the headlights and suddenly we saw this lion on the road. He started walking right in front of us, and then I said, “That’s scary.”

To us, it was a very luxurious safari. We would stop and have drinks at sunset. We were in this field at the end of the safari place, and all of a sudden it’s getting really dark. I see in the distance two shadows clawing up and down. I realized they were two rhinos, which are very dangerous animals.

So I said to the guide, “Should we be in the Jeep?” And he said, “No watch.” And he just scraped his foot like that. And, they heard it. They don’t have good eyesight, but they have good hearing, and they just parted ways and went opposite directions.

 

 

The Human Connection

 

Today’s younger generation is lucky to have the older generation.

I think they’re lucky in some ways to have certain advantages and technology, but, of course, it’s a double-edged sword.

Technology really inhibits people from speaking to each other on a leisurely phone call or seeing each other.

I know even myself… for a while, I wasn’t calling people, I was just texting. And, you feel out of touch with people, so I think it’s really important to keep in touch visually, physically and do it leisurely. 

 

Chuck Dvorkin

Childhood Memories

 

The Neighborhood

I grew up in Union, New Jersey. Address Terrace. It was a bunch of Cape Cod houses – mostly Jewish, the street was. Most people moved in around the same age, so there were a lot of kids roughly my age, so you were able to go outside and play.

We used to play baseball in the middle of the street. There was one woman who lived on the street that didn’t have any kids, and she used to yell at us all the time. The ball went on her lawn, and you went to get the ball or something like that, and she’d say, “Get off my lawn!” But that’s what it was like.

Im age Source: John Bignell c.1960
 

 

Stamp Collecting

I collected stamps for a while. It was a different era. People used to write letters then. You used to get stamps from the post office, and they’d come in different denominations depending upon what you wanted to send and have. And, you’d collect them. You’d collect them from different countries.

It was actually kind of boring, so it didn’t last too long.

A double picture of a red 2-cent US stamp featuring a portrait of young Thomas Jefferson
A pair of 2-cent US stamps from 1954 featuring a young Thomas Jefferson. The hobby of stamp collecting is also called philately. Image Source: Wikimedia Commons
 

 

Don’t Interrupt the Movie!

I was not a great music lover. I listened to the radio. The Beatles, The Beach Boys, Jan and Dean, that kind of stuff. The Moody Blues.

But I did watch TV.

There was an early show on, a movie, that ran from five to seven. A lot of times, I would watch it, and my father would walk in the house at 6:45 and start talking.

At that time, the TV was in the kitchen where everybody was, and he’d interrupt the ending and that would start a big fight a lot of the times. That was I think the biggest fight that I used to have with my father.

A family huddles around the television, c. 1958. In 1950, only 9% of American households had a television set. By 1960, 90% did. Image Source: National Archives and Records Administration
 

 

Marriage & Kids

 

Meeting Helene

Mom and I started dating in New York City. I was living in New Jersey, but nothing goes on in the suburbs, you know? We’d go into the city to hang out, not to see each other. To hang out, to meet people.

We used to visit aunt Lucy and go to Stanley’s in Union, New Jersey. They used to have these great pizza burgers. But it’s not there anymore.

Coca-cola Advertisement With Eight Different Burgers – (1971)
Image Source: VintageAdBrowser
 

 

Mischievous Boys

“One of our most joyful days, was when you guys were born.”

A favorite story about Scott

I remember coming home from work one day, this was when we were in Atlanta, and saying to Scott, “Scott were you a good boy today?” And he said, “Yes, but don’t ask mommy.”

 

A favorite story about David

I always remember you David, being mischievous with Scott. And then when they were older, Mom told me that the TV kept changing channels and Scott was saying, “The TV’s not working.” And Mom said, “Well where’s the remote control?” I asked, “Where’s David?And David was outside with the remote in his hand, jumping up to the window and pressing the button.

 

 

Adventures

 

The Safari

I really wanted to go on the safari in South Africa. I knew so many people who said, “It’s the best trip of your life.” The best thing they’d ever done. And mom didn’t really want to go. She was… for whatever reason.

I said, “Listen, people that I play bridge with who don’t look like they belong on a safari have gone and loved it. This is really something that we should do.” And that’s how it happened.

 

It’s just very different than anything else you’ve ever done. You know, as opposed to seeing places, you’re seeing animals it’s just really, just different.

 

 

Living through History

 

The San Francisco Earthquake, 1989

I was in San Francisco during the earthquake in 1989. I had called Mom right before.

What happened was, they evacuated the hotel. We were all in a parking lot outside the hotel. We were standing there and we could actually feel the ground move under our feet. It was like an aftershock which was kind of creepy. I never experienced anything like that before.

I think the main road is the 101 in San Francisco, that runs up and down. What we discovered was on the side that we were, there was no electricity. On the other side of the 101, there was electricity, so we got our car and went to a bar. There was only a pay phone there, and I couldn’t get to it because it was backed up.

Then they were showing the earthquake on TV, and I said, I better get to the phone because she’ll think I’m dead. So I called and told her I wasn’t. Yeah, I think she was disappointed…

The destruction of the Marina district of San Francisco following the Loma Prieta earthquake in 1989. Because it happened during a national live broadcast of the the 1989 World Series, it is sometimes referred to as the “World Series earthquake“. Image Source: Flickr
 

 

9/11

When I think hero, Superman sort of comes to mind, but that’s not real. Real heroes, I’d go with the 9/11 – all the men who went into the towers.

I remember sitting in my office that morning at 45th and 3rd at a staff meeting, and somebody came and said a plane hit the World Trade Center. And at first thought, we said, “Wow!” And, then somebody – Joe Kerner – said, “You know, it’s a bluebird day, you got clear skies”, and then he started questioning it and then somebody came in and said a second plane hit. And, then we knew.

US Flight 175 Hits the World Trade Center South at 9:03 am on September 11, 2001. All 65 people aboard were killed. The hijacked plane hit the tower just 17 minutes after the North tower was struck by American Airlines Flight 11. Image Source: Wikimedia Commons
 

Filomena Lorenti

Growing Up

My Family

My father was Emilio, and my mother was Rose. My father came from Italy, and my mother was born here. He made grain for animals and she was a housewife.

I remember my parents, how good they are. They raised me up to what I am today and I thank them for it. They were a little bit on the strict side, but I’m grateful for it because I grew up to be respectful. When you were told something, you would have to do it. If we didn’t behave, oh, we’d get a good spanking.

Despite having strict parents, Filomena once skipped school to see Gone with Wind while it was still in theaters. At the time, it only cost a nickel. Source: Wikimedia Commons

I was treated very fairly in my family. If I got a penny, everyone would get a penny. In my day, for a penny you bought a cup of lemon ice. You could get a cup for 1 cent, 2 cents, 5 cents – the more money you had, the more ice you’d get. Lemon ice was delicious in those days. They always came in fresh. They were so good. I wish I could have them again.

The best gift I received was a doll my father gave me during the holidays. I brought her everywhere, and she had wavy black hair like me. My favorite color was blue so she wore a blue dress.

 

 

Cooking with Grandma

My grandmother also used to live with us. My mother was a sick woman, and it was hard for her to take care of me, my sisters, and brother. But my grandmother was there for us and I thank her so much for that. I loved her so much.

I used to do so much with her. I would say, “Grandma, can we go to the store?” She was Italian, and I spoke Italian very well then, and we used to go out together and go shopping.

I used to help her with cooking. That’s what made me a great cook today. I saved mostly her pasta recipes. My favorite childhood food was pasta!

Making pasta helped Filomena connect with her Italian heritage. Source: Pixabay

My favorite pasta dish to make is lasagna. We used to make it layer by layer, with sausage filling, or meatball filling. You baked it until it was high. You’d cut it piece by piece. I really didn’t have a recipe, I would just cook on my own.

I just cook what I want to cook, and how I want to cook.

The pies she used to make, I could never make. She used to make a lot of pies for Easter. Grain pie, egg pie, sausage pie. She’d do at least 4 pies and she’d do them all herself.

Grain pie, also called pastiera napoletana, is a traditional Italian tart made with wheat, eggs, ricotta, and orange flower water. It is typically eaten at Easter. Source: Mattia Luigi Nappi

For Christmas, we used to make chicken, ham, and a roast beef. And of course all types of vegetables and potatoes. We’d make some feast. Our holidays with the family, they had to be done the right way. We did so much cooking, when you have to cook for a whole family.

It’s because of my grandmother too that I became who I am today. She taught me respect. That was the most important thing. I taught my children the same values. I also grew them up to respect each other and all people.

 

 

Sweet Work

When I was of age to go to work, I worked in a candy factory. It was a big candy company at the time. I did the packing of the orders that need to be shipped out. It was 9 to 5, with a lunch break. You’d get 10-15 minutes in the afternoon and then you were back on the job.

If you work on the belt, you gotta be fast. Packing that candy, I would think, “Why can’t I take a piece?” But don’t be caught eating a candy because you would be fired! On the spot! You had to be smart enough not to touch that candy.

I liked my job, I didn’t want to lose it. I discovered that I was very good at my work. My foreman would tell me I was doing well, and I enjoyed my job. We were all young – he was good-lookin’ too! Man was he good-lookin! He wasn’t one of those tough guys, he was lenient and made our job easy .

The crimping department of the Elmer Candy Company Factory in New Orleans. C. 1917. Source: LSU Digital Library

Who you work with means a lot. We were only about 3 girls. There weren’t too many working there, but we used to go out for lunch together. We also helped one another. We would go out bowling after work. We used to get out on Fridays at 3 o’clock, because it was a Jewish company.

I really enjoyed working, believe it or not. It was very nice. I had a good time when I was young.


Money plays an important role in your life. If you don’t have money, you can’t buy a loaf a bread. During my time it was terrible because you went to work, made maybe $25 a week. And once they took this out and that out – union, state tax, city tax, I would come home with $20.

That doesn’t go a long way, even in my time. It was very hard during those time. And that played an important role in my life, because it was very hard to buy things that I wanted, things that I needed. My husband also worked, and I did some work, and we put our money together.

The Love of My Life

I was so happy the day when I was introduced to my husband through my sister’s husband. They worked together. She was bringing food to her husband, and my future husband was there. And he tips his hat and says, “Good morning Miss.” Such a gentleman, he sure charmed me. I had told my sister, “That’s my future husband.” She had said, “What! What’s the matter with you?”

Well, I said I know what’s the matter with me! I said, alright, I’m getting a hold of him! And I did! I got him! I set my goal on him and I got him. I don’t think they were trying to set me up. But since they worked together I was introduced to him. 

The day I got married was a beautiful day. March 31, 1951. I remember it well, it was the greatest day of my life. I had a beautiful white gown. We had a nice house wedding, we couldn’t afford a venue. All my friends and relatives had a good time. I had plenty of food, plenty of soda. No liquor, because me and my husband didn’t drink. You want liquor, you bring it because I got nothing in my house! I had a beautiful cake ordered. Beautiful cream all around, a sponge inside, with strawberry filling.

Although this wedding dress is from 1948, similar styles lasted well into the 1950s. Source: GadoImages

When I got married, my husband and I moved into our own apartment. I think it was on 72nd street. I loved that apartment. It had a living room on one side, a dining room on another. My bedroom was in the back, away from the kitchen and dining room. It was private and quiet. We were very happy there. I raised my firstborn there. Then when I moved, I had my other two. A home is what you make of it. And I made it. I made it my home, my husband’s home, and my children. But it got too crowded with 3 children, my husband and I!

 

 

A Wonderful Man

My husband made me laugh. I remember when we were on our honeymoon. It was April Fool’s Day. I didn’t know it was April Fool’s Day. So he says to me, “Hurry up! Jump out of bed! There are bed bugs in there!” I jumped out of bed, and screamed “Oh my God!” He said, “It’s April Fool’s Day you know!” And I said, “You scared me to death!” He was great. We had almost 60 years together and he would always make me laugh. He was always fooling around, a very happy easy-going man. He’d always try to make sure things didn’t bother him. I always think about that day when April comes! I think I jumped into the ceiling! We had a good laugh.

My husband was a very nice and gentle man. He helped me with everything. He was the most wonderful man you could ever meet. We did everything together, we walked together, we shopped together, we went to church together, and we sat down and ate together. We’d go to Dunkin’ Donuts maybe two or three times a week. Usually we would split a donut and have coffee. It would make a nice morning and afternoon. Not one of us sat without the other. He helped me with housework! He would even help me mop my floors, clean furniture.

Source: Pixabay

He was so wonderful for his children. Never said no to them, if they asked help from their dad, he was there. If the grandchildren asked him for help, he was there for them. No matter what time of day or night, he was there for them. He was a real family man. He was so good to anybody who needed him.

We had a good life, 60 years together. I never found a day boring with my husband. I loved him and he loved me. We had a real romantic love together. God was good to me. And I thank Him for every day that we were together.


My husband was a very sick man before he died. He had a blood infection. My doctors didn’t understand where he got it from. He had no IV, no blood transfusion, he had nothing, but my doctors could not understand it. It got so bad, that’s what made him pass away. You know I’m almost glad that God took him, because I couldn’t stand to see him that way. One day I’m going to meet him again and I’m going to ask him “Why did you leave me?” But he was such a wonderful man and God was good to us.

I keep dreaming of my husband. I see him and we’re talking. We’re doing things that we used to do. I always dream of my husband. I loved him very much and he loved me. When I sleep, he’s always in my room. I just can’t let him go. One day I will see him. I pray to God that he is at peace now. And he knows how much I love him.

I don’t know why I lived longer but I guess it’s up to God when he wants you! He’s given me 93 years and many days. And I thank him for it.

 

 

A Mother’s Love

The happiest day of my life was the day of my firstborn came into this world. When they bring that little thing in your arms, oh what a happy day that is. And you know he’s well and healthy. They make you hold him, you know, let you hold him for a little while. And they let you feed him. Oh that was the happiest day. Outside of my husband, and getting married, this was the happiest day. I had a happy life thank God. When they put that little bundle in your arms, oh there’s nothing like it, believe me. You look down, “Oh I gave birth to this one! I finally got rid of it!” Now I have 4 grandchildren and 1 great-granddaughter.

Children playing with toys in a store. 1960. Source: Wikimedia Commons

My children have great personalities. We’ve done so much together. It’s easing up a little now because we’re not as young as we used to be. But I do see them. My daughter called me from Pennsylvania only yesterday. We talked for a while. Then my little angel, my great granddaughter came on the phone. She says, “Hi Gigi! How are you doing?” I said “I’m doing great sweetheart.” “Oh good Gigi.” I think she’s going to be 6 years old. She’s a very smart little girl, and she loves school. She’s doing well too! Thank God she likes school and she’s doing well.

 

 

September 11, 2001

The greatest historical even I lived through was the bombing of the Twin Towers. I lost a lot of friends and I almost lost my daughter. She was on the 95th floor at the time. There was no way of her of getting down because the stairs were gone. It was dark, there was no way of getting out. So what they did was they picked her up by helicopter. She was four months pregnant at the time, and they put her down onto the street.

South Tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Source: Wikimedia Commons

After that, my daughter had to find her way home. She had to walk all the way home, from there to Brooklyn. We were all waiting for her, crowding all around the television, hoping for good news about her.

When we saw her coming down that street, that was the greatest day of my life – that I have my daughter.

I lost a cousin, and I lost friends. They all worked at the Twin Towers. It seemed like everybody worked there. It was a horrible day.

But I thank God my daughter was safe and they got her home. The baby was safe. It was a day to remember and not to remember. I must say the firefighters, the police, and the aides all did a great job. We had to live through the loss, but luckily I was able to wait for the day my granddaughter was born.


I think I have a good personality. I like to be friendly, with my friends, my neighbors. Even with my aides, I am very friendly so they’re very nice to me and we’re on good terms. I try to be as nice as possible. I’ve had a very good life. Thank God.

GrandPa

À l’école : sur les bancs ou dans le chœur

Je suis né à la Maison Blanche et j’ai été baptisé à « Bethléem ». L’église de Bethléem. La Maison Blanche, c’était une ferme. C’était pas son vrai nom, son vrai nom c’était la Tambride, une ferme qui n’existe plus. Il y a encore les bâtiments mais c’est construit tout autour. Et c’était à 3km. Donc le matin, réveil 6h, départ 7h, et école à 8h. On se tapait 3km aller et 3km retour !

L’église Notre-Dame de Bethléem de Clamecy a été construite en 1926 en ciment armé – c’est l’une des premières constructions utilisant ce matériau. Son architecture s’est inspirée des sanctuaires byzantins, avec sa grande coupole centrale. Aujourd’hui classée monument historique, l’église est désaffectée. Sa crypte est couvertes de fresques de style cubiste.
 

Pour moi, l’école primaire s’est passée pendant la période de guerre. De 1938 à 1946. Ils n’avaient pas de profs, à l’époque, c’était des vieux qui faisaient ça, qui n’avaient aucune formation. Ils suivaient leurs bouquins, et puis : « Récitez-moi ça, fais-moi ci, fais-moi ça »… un coup de règle sur les doigts, et paf, une paire de claques. Ça ne m’emballait pas trop, alors j’avais trouvé la combine d’être enfant de chœur – mon école était catholique. Mon record dans la journée, ça a été 4 enterrements ! Mon père n’en savait rien, mes parents ne savaient pas. Ils savaient que j’étais enfant de chœur le dimanche, mais pas que je faisais des enterrements comme ça… Du reste, quand mon père l’a su, il a été voir le directeur et lui a dit : « Maintenant c’est fini, ça. Hop, au boulot ! »


“Récitez-moi ça, fais moi ci fais moi ça, un coup de règle sur les doigts, et paf, une paire de claques. J’avais trouvé la combine d’être enfant de chœur. Parce que là où j’étais, c’était une école catholique. Mon record dans la journée, ça été 4 enterrements, mon père n’en savait rien, mes parents ne savaient pas. Ils savaient que j’étais enfant de chœur le dimanche, mais pas que je faisais des enterrements comme ça. Du reste quand mon père l’a su, il a été voir le directeur et lui a dit : ‘Maintenant c’est fini, ça. Hop, au boulot !’ On attaquait la 3e dictée à midi ! Ça ronflait là, oh la la…”
 

 

En voiture, Simone !

Après le Certificat d’études, j’ai dit : « Ouf, ça y est ! Débarrassé. Au moins on va me ficher la paix avec ça ». Ce que j’avais pas vu, c’est qu’il se préparait un paquetage, dans une pièce de la maison. Et à un moment, on m’a dit : « Allez, en voiture, Simone ! »… et on m’a emmené en pension. On m’a pas demandé mon avis. À la pension, il n’y avait pas des vacances comme maintenant. C’était la Toussaint – pas grand chose–, y avait Noël et les grandes vacances. On arrivait fin septembre et on finissait le 15 août. Et à la ferme, il fallait faire tous les travaux avant de repartir. Quand ça été fini, au bout de 3 ans, mon père a dit : « Maintenant, tu vas faire… »
« Ah non, c’est fini, ce coup là, c’est terminé ! », j’ai dit.

 

 

Le tracteur Gazogène 3,
un sacré engin !

Mon père, pendant la guerre, avait eu un bon pour acheter un tracteur Renault, un Gazogène 3 : vous ne pouvez pas vous imaginer le bordel que ça peut être ! On coupait des petits bouts de bois grands comme ça et de la charbonnette gros comme mon bras. Et fallait couper ça sur une scie circulaire ; fallait pas de sciure. Fallait faire attention, c’est comme ça que j’ai une main qui a été marquée, le bout de bois a tourné, et puis ma main a été traîner dans la scie… Et pour mettre un tracteur comme ça en route, le matin, il fallait 2 heures : tout nettoyer… Et il ne fallait surtout pas l’arrêter, parce que s’il s’arrêtait, pour le remettre en route, c’était la croix et la bannière. Quand je suis rentré de pension, j’ai dit à mon père : « Ton char d’assaut, maintenant, c’est fini ! » À l’école, des firmes (à l’époque ils étaient intelligents dans les firmes) étaient venues nous faire la démonstration et nous faire essayer les tracteurs. En France, il y avait Renault, c’était à peu près tout, et c’était des chars d’assaut. Mais il y avait tout ce qui venait d’Amérique : Oliver, John Deere, McCormick, Massey-Harris…

“Pas d’essence, pas d’importance !” C’est la fierté des campagnes françaises, dans les années 1920, de pouvoir labourer, moudre, presser grâce au gazogène, un moteur au bois et charbon de bois assurant l’indépendance énergétique… Le « gaz des forêts », utile en période de pénurie, sera remplacé après guerre par le diesel, tout de même plus pratique d’utilisation !
 

 

Papa, les Américains
et l’alcool de bois

Le débarquement a eu lieu en 1944. En février 1945 on est partis en Normandie, chercher des jeunes veaux parce qu’on n’avait plus de bétail, et mon père avait eu un copain, prisonnier avec lui, qui lui avait communiqué qu’il pouvait lui trouver des bêtes. C’est incroyable, on était vraiment dans la pleine Normandie ! C’est-à-dire que la ferme était dans le fond d’un trou où il y avait un point d’eau. Tu avais l’étable, la maison d’habitation… tout ça se tenait. Les portes communiquaient entre elles… Y avait pas de route pour descendre. La voiture restait sur le faîte, sinon on ne pouvait pas remonter. Et à l’époque, en 1945, les Américains, ils débarquaient. Ils remontaient sur l’Allemagne à ce moment, sur l’Allemagne, sur l’Est, enfin un peu partout. Et y avait un pipe line, un tuyau qui montait le carburant qui venait de la mer, dans les bateaux, et qui les suivait. On n’avait pas le droit de passer dans ce coin là. Ils avaient ce qu’on appelait la « MP » ( Military Police), avec des carabines. Tu pouvais pas approcher, là. Parce qu’ils ne faisaient pas de sommation avant de tirer.

Et donc il fallait faire des tours, et ils nous ont arrêtés, à un moment, les Américains, pour savoir avec quoi on roulait. C’était de l’alcool de bois. L’alcool de bois était fabriqué à Clamecy : ça puait ! Les Américains, ils ont bien vu que c’était un fût à essence… Ils ont voulu qu’on le débouche. Mais comme on ne connaissait pas leur langue et qu’ils ne connaissaient pas la nôtre, on a ouvert le bidon, et mon père a fait comprendre que c’était pour mettre dans la voiture. Quand l’Américain a mis le nez au dessus, il a fait une mine, l’air de dire : « Fermez moi ça et puis foutez moi le camp ! »

 
“L’alcool de bois était fabriqué à Clamecy. Mais ça puait, vous pouvez pas vous imaginer ! Et on en utilisait beaucoup : si aujourd’hui, on en fait 5-6 litres, on en faisait 15 litres, à l’époque. Et les huiles n’étaient pas ce qu’elles sont maintenant… Fallait emmener le carburant, fallait emmener l’huile, fallait emmener un flotteur, parce que ça bouffait l’étain qui était sur les flotteurs, ça bouffait tout. Et on s’est fait arrêter par les Américains, ils ont bien vu que c’était un fût à essence, ils étaient pas cons à ce point là… Ils ont voulu qu’on le débouche. Mais comme on ne connaissait pas leur langue et qu’ils ne connaissaient pas la nôtre, on a ouvert le bidon, et mon père a fait comprendre que c’était pour mettre dans la voiture. Quand l’Américain a mis le nez au dessus, il a fait une mine, l’air de dire « fermez moi ça et puis foutez moi le camp ! »
 

 

Les prisonniers de guerre

J’ai passé un bac agricole. Mais ça n’avait rien à voir avec le bac agricole d’aujourd’hui. À l’époque, il y avait des cours et de la pratique. Par promotions : 4 demi-journées de pratique par semaine. On faisait tout ! Le matin, si t’étais de vacherie (les vaches à lait), tu te levais à 6h. Celui qui nous commandait, c’était un allemand prisonnier. C’est lui qui nous commandait, parce que c’était lui le vacher. J’étais entre 1946 et 1949, moi, là-dedans. Un prisonnier qui venait de la Russie. Tu penses bien qu’il n’allait pas retourner dans son pays, celui-là. Il était pas pressé ! Il avait « PG » dans le dos : « Prisonnier de Guerre ». Tous les prisonniers avaient ça. Sur la capote c’était marqué « PG ». Tous, à la craie, à la chaux…

Après la Libération, environ 525 000 soldats allemands sont restés prisonniers de guerre en France, et ont aidé à reconstruire le pays.

Chez mes parents, il y en a eu 5, de ces gens-là. Les premiers qui sont partis sont ceux qui ont été libérés par les Américains. Ceux-là sont partis de bonne heure. Mais ceux qui ont été libérés par les Russes, ils n’avaient pas tellement envie de partir. Ils avaient des professions différentes. C’était des artisans ces gars-là, et ils travaillaient dans la ferme. Ils ont appris le français. C’était des gars qui avaient 40-50 ans, qui avaient des enfants, là bas. On en avait 5. Y avait un maçon, un maréchal-ferrant, un mécano, un boulanger et puis le dernier je ne me souviens pas. Ils essayaient de travailler là et d’être peinards. Surtout pas dans un camp. Parce que dans un camp, c’était serré et ils ne mangeaient pas comme chez nous. Ils étaient logés, nourris, blanchis. De temps en temps, on leur donnait ce qu’on appelait des vêtures c’est-à-dire pantalon, chemise, caleçon… C’est eux qui lavaient leur linge, ils se débrouillaient tout seuls.

 

 

Le travail à la ferme

L’agriculture, c’était pas comme maintenant. Les vaches à lait maintenant c’est une profession : y a la traite le matin, la traite le soir, et c’est fini. Avec, maintenant, des installations : les vaches vont se faire traire toutes seules, elles se débrouillent toutes seules. Elles vont manger toutes seules. Et puis les vaches à viande, à cette époque-ci, c’est rentrer dans les stabulations, faut leur donner à manger, faut refaire de la paille, faut faire les vélages… Mais chez nous c’était pas ça : y avait des vaches à lait, des vaches à viande, y avait des moutons, des porcs, y avait des céréales… On était toujours en train de travailler. On allait chercher du foin, on montait dans le chariot… Eh oui ! Et puis y avait aussi les fruits à ramasser, y avait les pommes, les poires, les cerises… Fallait ramasser tout ça, oh la la ! Y avait tout le temps du boulot ! À la fin de l’été, c’est pas que l’école m’emballait tellement, mais j’appréciais de repartir à l’école, pour retrouver les copains. Et puis mon frère c’était pareil. Et puis les autres c’était comme ça, tous ceux de mon âge c’était comme ça.

 

 

Les amis

Quand j’étais à l’école primaire j’étais ce qu’on appelle demi-pensionnaire ; c’est-à dire qu’on arrivait le matin et on rentrait après les devoirs. On mangeait sur place. Là, j’avais des copains. Des copains qui ont 85-90 ans aujourd’hui. Les trois-quarts sont décédés. J’en ai enterré un, encore, y a pas longtemps. Des amis, j’en enterre un tous les 15 jours-3 semaines. Voilà, c’est comme ça… Y en a un qui est en train de décéder : il est à Corbigny, il est de mon âge. Alfred Daupin, dit « Freddy ». Malheureusement il est dans un lit, il entend ce qu’on dit mais il ne peut plus parler, faut le faire manger, bref… Il y avait son cousin, j’étais à l’école primaire avec lui, on s’est retrouvés à Fontainebleau à l’armée. On est rentrés. On s’est retrouvés après à Bourges, rappelés. On est partis au Maroc ensemble.
On n’avait pas le temps d’avoir des copains quand on était jeunes. C’était sans arrêt, à la ferme, on était tout le temps en train de jongler. Et puis après à l’armée, j’avais des bons copains mais ils étaient de la région parisienne. Nous on était de la Nièvre…

 

 

Le bal du samedi soir, les filles

Ça n’avait rien à voir avec vos danses, où vous vous trémoussez, là… On dansait la valse, le tango… Un homme une femme. Les mères étaient là, pendant le bal. Et le jeune homme demandait à la maman ! Si la fille avait déjà un copain, la mère le savait ou pas… Le mec venait et faisait danser la fille : s’il plaisait à la mère, pas de problème. Si ça plaisait pas, la fille, elle restait sur le banc ! C’était pas comme maintenant, c’était très strict !

“– Un bal du samedi soir. Comme tous les bals qu’y avait à l’époque. Ça n’a rien à voir avec vos danses, où vous vous trémoussez, là. On dansait la valse, le tango…
– (GrandMa) Un homme une femme, tu vois ! Et le jeune homme il demandait au papa !
– C’était la maman, plutôt. Et si la fille, elle refusait, elle pouvait pas refuser au deuxième, hein ! Si elle avait refusé à un, le 2e c’était pas la peine qu’il se pointe. J’veux pas dire que c’était des règles. Mais une fille, elle avait des vues sur un mec. Comme par hasard c’est pas lui qui est arrivé, ç’en est un autre. Elle lui refuse, mais après, fallait pas qu’elle reparte avec l’autre mec, hein !”
 

On allait à la foire à Corbigny tous les 2e mardis du mois. On se retrouvait toute une bande, garçons et filles. Nous, on allait sur le champ de foire, on regardait les bêtes vite fait : si on n’avait pas à s’en occuper, on se taillait et on allait voir les copines. À midi on se retrouvait à 5, 6 ou 7 au café et on buvait des « guignolet kirsh » – apéritif à base de liqueur de cerise. Si on était 5, c’était 5 tournées : les filles payaient leur tournée pareil !

Le champ de foire de Corbigny. La foire aux bovins et ovins est restée, de nos jours, un moment fort de l’année à Corbigny.
“On se retrouvait toute une bande, garçons et filles. Alors nous, on allait sur le champs de foire, on regardait les bêtes vite fait, si on avait pas à s’en occuper, on se taillait et on allait voir les copines. À midi on se retrouvait 5-6-7 au café et on buvait des guignolet-kirsh. Si on était 5, c’était 5 tournées ! Les filles payaient leur tournée pareil.
– C’est quoi un guignolet-kirsch ?
– Guignolet, avec du kirsch.
– C’est quoi un guignolet ?
– C’est à base de cerise. “
 

 

Les vacances

Les vacances, j’en ai pas eu. À 12 ans, l’école se terminait fin juin-début juillet et on rentrait début septembre. Et c’était : garder les vaches, garder les moutons, c’était être derrière les chevaux, relever des gerbes, c’était faire du foin, c’était biner les betteraves, c’était ça, sans arrêt, sans arrêt… J’habitais dans une ferme à Clamecy, à 40km d’ici. Le matin, c’était comme à l’école, c’était réveil à 6h, coucher à 8h, 9h ou 10h : il n’y avait pas de télé, pas de machin comme ça, pas de journaux… On marchait avec le soleil. Le matin, on nous réveillait « Allez ! Y a ça à faire, y a ceci, cela… » Il fallait se dépêcher. On n’a jamais su ce que c’était que des vacances.

 

Mes premières vacances, c’est quand je me suis marié, j’avais 28 ans. On est partis dans le Midi en voiture… mais autrement j’savais pas ce que c’était. Ah non non : boulot boulot ! Quand j’ai commencé de travailler, je suis rentré dans la vulgarisation. Le matin avant de partir, il y avait des choses à faire à la ferme ; le soir si je rentrais assez tôt – ça dépendait du travail que j’avais à faire sur le terrain –, en rentrant j’avais encore du boulot à faire.

Gloria Sama

Childhood Memories

The North End

I was born right in the heart of the North End, where all the action took place. I was born right in the middle of everything – at North Square.

An assortment of people in 19th century clothes assembling in North Square in Little Italy, in Boston.
A dozen cars parked on Salem Street in Boston.
Salem Street, North End, Boston 1948
 

If you did something at 9:00 in the morning, I would tell you, by 12 noon, everybody knew it! And that’s what the North End was.

 

I couldn’t skip school because my Mama would find out. How? I don’t know. But I couldn’t even skip school. When you’re followed all the time, you get rebellious. I skipped school to go see Frank Sinatra.

 

Frank Sinatra… had come to the Metropolitan or one of those… And a whole bunch of photographers were there with the newspaper. And I was telling my friends, “Don’t go near the newspapers.”… I skipped school… So naturally, Andrew, she went near the newspapers, and we were all in the paper… the next day… [Andrew: And then your mom found out?] Not only my mother, I had a whole bunch of nuns from my high school that I have never forgotten.

 
In December 1943, girls stood in line before 8 am to hear 28-year-old “Frankie Swoonatra” at the RKO Boston Theatre. He would receive “Beatlesque” responses from “bobby-soxers.”
Young Frank Sinatra surrounded by beautiful smiling women.
A dozen smiling 1940s girls in bobby socks sitting on a row.
A gang of bobby-soxer pals would certainly be easy to spot at a soda shop or movie theater because of their uniform-like outfits that revolved around ankle socks, which replaced stockings when nylon became necessary for producing WWII supplies. Typically, bobby-soxers would wear their ankle socks with saddle shoes, penny loafers or ballet-style slippers.
 

We had nothing to worry about. We were protected… By other families, and especially by the men. Supposedly, the gangsters that they were called… the gangsters. But they were there and they protected us… We had no fear at all. From anything. From drugs… One day, I was having lunch, and my friend and I were… sitting at the counter, and this person named Danny came out with something in his hands, and he went up to the person sitting next to me, and I heard him say, “If you come in with these…” and I won’t tell you what he said, “again, you’re going to be carried out.”

Two profile photos side by size of serious Caucasian men staring at the camera.
Filippo Buccola and his underboss Giussepe Lombardo were top underworld figures in Boston’s North End during Prohibition. They were rivals of the Irish Gustin Gang led by notorious mob boss Frank Wallace. In 1932, Frank Morelli, who headed a ruthless and powerful gang that controlled bootlegging and gambling in Providence, Rhode Island, Maine and Connecticut, merged with Buccola’s group to create the New England mob faction.
 

 

Family

My mother never spoke English. She knew how to speak English, but spitefully she wouldn’t. I got to tell you, she was very spiteful. It was her will or no will. Growing up, where my mother had a lot to say and a lot to do with us. And we obeyed her. No saying no to Nana. She didn’t know that word. Her word or no word. She lived to be a hundred. Her name was Assunta, which means “risen”. When Nana was born, everyone had a religious name. All my siblings too.

My two aunties – Little Aunt, and big Aunt, one was Matilda and one was Clementina. Even though they had different names, we would always distinguish them as Little Aunt and Big Aunt. Big Aunt didn’t have too much to say. Little Aunt had a lot to say. They would talk about something and Little Aunt would say, “Well, this is this!” – and that would be the end of the sentence… But, remember, my mother was boss! My mom, the last word. My mother was the oldest. Then Clementina, then Matilda, and then Uncle Joe.

We would see them at family events. The family would come over to the apartment. We had a very small apartment, we didn’t have a lot of money. That was definite, we didn’t. And the playground was the street. That’s where we learned how to ride a bike. And oh my God, it was loaded with Italians.

What we had, an awful a lot of, and I don’t mean to preach, but I think what is missing today – is family. Family together, and everything was family.

Three boys play marbles in a chalk circle in the street while a boy on a bike watches.
Children playing marbles game in the street, 1947
4 story corner building showing apartments in Boston's North End.
Little Italy apartments, North End, Boston
 

 

On the Farm

I was fourteen years younger than my closest sibling. My sister’s sister-in-law, Aunt Theresa, had a farm when I was a child. I grew up in the city, but I spent a lot of time on the farm in the summers. I would go to the farm almost every weekend.

I learned how to drive on a truck! And on Saturdays, we would candle the eggs. Now they’re done automatically, but in the early years, candling the eggs meant putting the whole egg up toward the light like a candle to find out if it was okay, if the egg is okay to use.

The farm was in Medway. If you drive by it now you will see half a million, more than half a million dollar houses!

A row of white farmhouses in Medway, Massachusetts in front of a dirt road and picket fence.
Middle Post Road, Medway, MA. Early 1900’s
Modern, two-story white house in Medway, Massachusetts.
Medway, MA today
 

 

Religion

Religion was a great part of my life. I kid a lot around how Nana was very religious. Always had rosaries in our hands and everything. But she meant her religion, and so did I. It meant a lot to me. I went to Catholic school, and it was not just Catholic school going, it wasn’t just being Catholic – it meant something to me.

In the North End, we used to have a feast every year in the summer. It was called the Saint Anthony Feast. That was the big one, and that was known as, “You don’t leave town on that one.” The streets would be full of Italians. With bands, and food, and stuff like that. Some people from New York, some stars, they’d come in and perform. It was a three-day feast, it was huge.

When your mother was a little girl I took her every year, it was in August. I didn’t like going, but I didn’t want her to miss out on!

Do you remember the angel?…

 
Statue of St. Anthony and baby Jesus on parade in Boston in 1945 surrounded by a throng of people.
Saint Andrew’s Feast 1945, North End, Boston.

Saint Anthony’s Feast has become the largest Italian Religious Festival in New England since 1919. It is celebrated annually on the weekend of the last Sunday of August. 2019 marks the 100th anniversary of the feast.
 

[Judy: The Feast was at the end of August, and when Nana was pregnant with Auntie Lisa, she had to leave the feast because she was in labor with Auntie Lisa.] … Gotta go have a baby now!

 

 

The Eggplant Festival

When I was a child, we used to have big family dinners. In the summertime, we had the cookouts, and we used to have the cousins from Portland, Maine. Well, everybody knew we loved eggplant.

Classic, oven-roasted eggplant.
 

And we’d have an eggplant festival with the cousins coming down from Maine…[Judy: And my Auntie Mary would make trays and trays of stuffed eggplant, and all the cousins would come down. They had a big backyard. Auntie Mary had a big backyard. It was really fun. It was really fun.] Yeah, we did have a lot of fun.

 

 

Young Adulthood

 

The Bugs in Prince Macaroni

 After I finished high school but before I got married, I worked at Prince Macaroni in Lowell, in the Greater Boston area. This was around 1953 or 1954. They had a big pasta factory here where all the cardboard was made.

Smiling young woman dressed in a warm, formal coat and shoes standing on the steps.
Gloria Sama, aged 20.
Man works on top of an early 20th century pasta machine
A man works at a short goods pasta extruder in Brooklyn, New York c.1937. This was one of the first pasta machines to combine mixing, kneading and pressing dough, allowing for the continuous production of pasta. Source: Consolidated Macaroni Machine Corporation

This is where they packed the pasta, and this is where the trucks went out. They had blue boxes at the store, but it’s more of a local pasta. I don’t think you’d find them in California or anything. Each floor had its own manufacturing, packing, and all, but I worked in their advertisings.

We would get letters complaining about how customers opened the package of pasta and they found bugs in the package. Well, actually, where the bugs came from was from the pasta being stored in a place that it wasn’t supposed to be. And the semolina itself would cause the bugs.

 

We would get the letters. I would go out to the place where the letter came from with one of our prize packages of pasta, the magic fork, and a little cheese grater… Here’s a prize!… Actually, that’s what it came down to. And you’re laughing to yourself, because … I mean, they’re not going to get anything, because this is something that does come from this product. So, I had a lot of fun with that. Many of the people were very nice. Many of the people threw me out, but it was a lot of fun.

 

 

Winning the Volvo

I drove to my job at Prince Macaroni in my own car – a small Volvo that I actually won in a contest in the late 1950s.

My friends and I went to the theater and found out that there was a contest. In the first round, you had to guess “Who do you think would win the Academy Awards?” And you’d have to pick, I forgot how many. I won the first prize! I answered 14 out of 15 questions correctly. The first prize was a diamond ring.

A crowd gatherings in front of a theater advertising the 30th Annual Academy Awards.
A crowd gathers in front of the Hollywood Pantages Theatre in Los Angeles for the 30th Annual Academy Awards on March 26th, 1958.  “The Bridge on the River Kwai” starring William Holden, Jack Hawkins, and Alex Guinness won Best Picture. Source: Wikimedia Commons

And then you had to go onto the next round where you had to write a statement too – 25 words or less on why I go to the movies.

 

I still remember what I wrote: “The only place where you could get a million dollars worth of entertainment for the price of a ticket.

 

The prize in the second round was a Volvo automobile. I didn’t know what a Volvo was. I thought it was a motorcycle but came to find out it was a car, which was right up my alley.

Model of the 1958 Volvo Pv544 Sedan. Volvo was the first car manufacturer in the world to equip all of its cars with the three-point safety belt. Source: Pixabay

Gene Brown, the dealer of Volvo and I were the only two in Massachusetts that owned a Volvo. I won the first Volvo that was registered in Massachusetts.

Well, my husband worked on Saturdays. He was actually the only one that was able to bring tulips in from Holland. He went to work one Saturday morning, and he totaled it. The car was totaled. Someone ran a light and ran right through the car.

 

 

Love & Marriage

 

Meeting & Marrying Gerald

Nonno Gerald in army uniform
Gerald as a young man in his Army Uniform.

I didn’t know Gerald when he was in the war, but later, around 1958, both Gerald and I were in an Italian-American club at the International Institute in Boston. I had gone out to a picnic with my girlfriends the night before and I was tired, so I fell asleep in the car… And it happened to be his car! I went and took a nap in someone’s car, and it happened to be his.

Young woman sleeps in the driver's seat of an old convertible.
A young woman sleeps in a car while at the park. c. 1942. Source: Library of Congress

We all knew each other, though we weren’t dating. But we were dating after that.

On our first date, we were at his house, and they were talking about someone named Gedo. They called him Gedo or Gerry. I thought it was another brother that I never met! Gerald’s family weren’t as religious as mine were, but that was never an issue between our families. That was good, too. They were religious up to doing what they had to do, but not as religious as we were brought up.

I was living with my mother at the time I met Gerald. We’d lost my father a long time ago, and my siblings were married (I was the youngest). My mother liked him.

 

Because Nonno was very diplomatic… he’d talk to anyone, and my mother liked him…There were previous ones that… Well, she never said she didn’t like, but she’d make these motions that I knew that she didn’t like.

 

We got engaged pretty quickly after we met – about 6 months. And I was 28 when we got married in 1960, which was considered older, then, to be getting married. Gerald was much older. He was 37 we got married.

Husband and wife post next to 2-tier wedding cake.
Gerald and Gloria pose next to their wedding cake in 1960.

We lived in Brighton for one year – exactly one year. And then, in 1961, we found the house in Watertown on Highland Avenue. It was only supposed to be a starter house. We wanted to start a family in that house. We moved in July, and my daughter Lisa was born in August.

At that time, Gerald was working, and I was at home taking care of Lisa. When Lisa wasn’t quite three, Judy popped up, and my life was full.

Gloria giving Judy a bath in January, 1965.
Two little girls sit almost on top of one another on a coffee table in from of the fireplace
Lisa and Judy sitting together in front of the fireplace in the late 1960s.

Gerald’s family also lived in Watertown. Just about a mile away was Gerald’s father and Mary, Gerald’s sister. She never got married, so she was kind of the matriarch of that family. Every single holiday was spent at that Highland Avenue house or at Gerald’s father’s house (Mary’s house) at 20 French Street in Watertown.

Gerald and Lisa
Older man holding a bottle standing next to woman in glasses.
Gloria and her father-in-law. 
 

 

Cousin Tony & Catherine

My husband had a cousin Tony who was born in Italy but had come to the United States to work. He was a stonemason, and the work was very plentiful here.

Stonemason wielding chisel and hammer on the steps of a bridge.
A stonemason wields a chisel and hammer while working on the steps of Memorial Bridge in Washington, DC. c.1920-1950. Source: Library of Congress

Then he went to Italy. He got married, and then his bride came here, Catherine. She was a wonderful person.

She was very young – only about 19 – and she didn’t speak English. I kind of took her under my wing a little bit. She was really wonderful, and she got pregnant right away. Here was a child having another child. But she learned very quickly. She used to do it just like that.

 

She was a quick learner… Yeah, we used to tune her into the… soap operas, and that’s where she learned English… But she was very, very, very avid to learn all these things, and you didn’t need much to say well Catherine wanted to…

 
One woman points to a notepad another woman is holding while a man talks on the phone behind them.
Publicity photo from the soap opera “From These Roots” starring Ann Flood, Robert Mandan, and Sarah Hardy. 1961. The show ran on NBC from 1958-1961. Source: Wikimedia Commons

And then it was very sad. They had two children here, Anthony and Connie, and then they moved back to Italy.

Tony’s mother was very controlling and she kept saying, “I’m dying, I’m dying,” and Tony felt obligated to go back to that old woman. She was Gerald’s mother’s sister-in-law. He used to send her a good chunk of his salary. It was a common thing to send money back to family, but at least they were grateful. This woman was not grateful. Really, she didn’t lack for anything. And then when they did go back, she was not the least bit happy.

Gloria in her 30s

It was very devastating, and Catherine didn’t want to go back. The kids were really American at that point. They were in elementary school – around third grade and first grade. Catherine said, “I am not going back to Italy until I become an American citizen.”

And she did. She became an American citizen. Tony’s mother gave them a hard time, but they did very well.

 

 

Rosary Academy

Catholic school classroom. In 1970, more than 5.3 million US schoolchildren attended a Catholic school compared to 2.3 million in 2007.

In Watertown, I was very involved in the kids’ elementary school, Rosary Academy. It was a private Catholic school right down the street from the house. There was another Catholic school in the area, but I just looked around, looked at the curriculum and all, and it was so close. It seemed like a good fit.

I did a lot of volunteering there. I washed dishes every Monday, and I ran the fashion show and the Christmas Bazaar. It closed when my second daughter was a junior. She had to graduate from somewhere else.

Gloria in her 40s

Many of my friends came from Rosary, and we volunteered together. It was hard, hard work, but we did have a lot of fun while we were doing it. My other friends were a group from church and my neighbors, of course.

 

 

A Life Well Lived

 

Gerald and I were married 45 years.  He was such an easy-going person, and it took that type of person to get along with me. We had opposite qualities that made for a very good match. He was a very good father to the girls, and that also helped. Where I was strict, he was not. That meant a lot. That’s why I think we were together for 45 years.

Family photo of 6 people arranged on a couch for the camera
Top Row: Gloria’s sister Mille, Gloria’s mother Assunta, Gloria. Middle Row: Mille’s husband George. Bottom Row: Lisa and Judy
Gloria and Gerald with their grandson, Andrew.
Nana holding toddler Andrew's hands as he walks
Gloria helping her toddler grandson Andrew walk.
 

I’ve had a very good life… A few glitches here and there… But I’ve had a very good life. I’ve been very lucky with my children and my grandchildren. So, what more could I ask for?… [Andrew: Well, I hope to have something similar to say when I am in my 80s.] Let’s put it this way. I hope you do.

Patricia Rissi

Bible Class and Confraternity

 

The priest had a Bible class once a week. We’d go across to the church, I don’t know where it was but it was in the church some place and he’d have Bible class. We’d all have to listen to him for an hour and then he’d let us go dance there, he had put the records on and after that we were dancing. And that was his way of getting us to listen to his preaching, you know?

 

Les Filles de Cadiz, by Léo Delibes
Jane Powell sang the song in the film “Holiday in Mexico” – 1946

 

I remember the entire song, but you want to know something? I don’t know what it means. I taught it to her and I don’t even know what each word means in that song, just knew I had to pronounce all the French words. I don’t know why I just never found out. It was a famous song that one of, Jane Powell used to sing in movies. I don’t know if you know Jane Powell, she’s an opera star.

 

I was in a different part of that show, though, dancing with two other girls. We did some kind of a dance, I don’t remember what, I don’t even know how we did it. I just see my legs kicking out. Some kind of a dance in this show. It was like all different parts. There was no plot to it, no story to it, just entertainment, you know what I mean?

And I go ooh-ooh with my hands, and my eyes open wide, and they start in the back of the auditorium. They said to me, we’re showing to play an extra day because of your number! And you’ll have to see how cute I was dressed as a flower girl singing to a guy with a big raccoon coat on. In those days men wore raccoon coats. Fur raccoon coats. I wish I could find that picture, I’m gonna look in my album when I get a chance…

“Ooh-ooh! On third rails. Ooh-ooh! On third rails. You’ll get a pain and ruin your tum tum! Don’t go out with colleges boys. When you’re on a spree. Take good care of yourself, you belong to me!”
Ruth Etting – Button Up Your Overcoat (1929)

…The only thing that bothered me was when I went to a church thing that kids all met at, across the street from the church. I had to walk there, it was a long walk to go to this. It wasn’t to go to church, the priest was in there, but he had a group of kids going like every night. We could go if we wanted or something like that, and we all talk in this one room, the priest would be in with us sometimes. It was just for kids to hang out so they wouldn’t hang out in bad places or whatever, so the priest had this big room where we could all get together, listen to music, do different things, talk.

It was a long walk ’cause I was afraid coming home when it was dark. I was very afraid coming home. There was a man that lived around there that had a limp and he’d be behind me sometimes walking when I was going home in the dark and I remember getting so frightened and I ran. And I actually fell going up the few steps I had go to my house and then I had a dream about it and I could not get up those steps in my dream, you know? ‘Cause I was so scared. Just once that happened but he was behind me a few times, you know, and I used to get afraid so I started asking some of the fellas at the place where we had a group, I asked them to walk me home, they’d walk me home, one of the boys. Oh it was so scary I guess ’cause I was young. I was younger than about 14. I think we had to join that group when … my mother sent me there when I was 14.

 


 

Growing up in Brooklyn

My mother and father had no money, we never went any place. I couldn’t even go to the Statue of Liberty. People were going to the Statue of Liberty or the World Fair. And I couldn’t go ’cause nobody would take me, they didn’t have any money. I remember being jealous that other kids around the block were going. They came home with like a little figure of something.

We never ate out for dinner, never went to a restaurant. I didn’t care. But we were poor. And my father also lost his job and I remember we had to eat a lot of potatoes and eggs for dinner. He lost his job at the time. God, another one. I don’t know how long it lasted. He had to use all his bonds that he had saved I remember. My mother was so upset that he had money saved, you know, in bonds ’cause he worked for Bethlehem Steel Company, big shipping company, and they used to get bonds. Then they fired everybody, you know, let go, and he had to get another job.

 

 

October 5, 1949 – Bethlehem workers on strike wait in the pay line at Sparrows Point. (Baltimore Sun file)

 

World War II brought a massive expansion in shipbuilding, and The Bethlehem Steel Staten Island Shipyard was responsible for producing 44 ships, 39 of which were completed during the war years. There were also landing craft, cargo ships and tugs produced at the yard during this period.

We all had a split up, by the way, and lived with different parts of the family. That was very hard for my mother and father. We lived in a high rise and we had the front rooms. And if you had those downstairs front rooms, you had to take care of the building, you had to be a maintenance person. So my father became a maintenance man of the building too, besides working he had to do that. He had to do the shoveling of coal downstairs in the furnace, you know, to warm up the building? And because of it we didn’t have to pay rent. When they finally sold the building, the person that bought it wanted those front rooms, so we had to leave. The lawyer said if we were paying just $2 a month they couldn’t put us out, but because we weren’t paying anything they were able to put us out. So before we found a place to live, we all had to split up and live with different aunts and uncles. My father and mother was with my mother’s brother and his wife and three children.

 


 

My Father – Alexander DeLucia

He taught me honesty. He was born on Lincoln’s birthday, February 12th, and he was just like Honest Abe. We used to call my father Honest Abe, you know, Abe for Abraham Lincoln. And he taught us to be very honest. I wouldn’t take a penny from anybody. Never, never, never. That’s what he taught me. I think you just try to emulate your parents. Emulating them, not that they said in words. But we all knew how honest he was from different stories that he’d tell us from, where he worked and stuff like that and I knew he was so honest. We all did.

My father was a doll, very comical, very funny man. Everybody loved him. Oh I could tell you some stories about him, he’s so funny.

 

One day on the train, the three of us used to come home from work together, Aunt Gloria, me and my father. So he’d be sitting down and he said “Watch this Pat and Gloria.” He’d start yawning, put his hand on his mouth yawning. And he’d say “Watch watch watch.” And everybody started yawning on the train and he thought that was very funny.

 

Scene on the New York Subway, 1969

 

I wanted to become a nun once, I was a little upset about caring for somebody I remember, and I said “Daddy, I think I’m going to become a nun.” He said “No, Pat, you’re not the type. You like clothes too much.” My father said I like clothes too much! Oh, and I listened to him.

 

My father was going into the house, you know, upstairs and he turned around and he sees his brother in law, my uncle Tony, my mother’s brother that lived there, walking down the street. And he goes “Tony, hey Tony!” Tony didn’t turn around, he kept running after him, “Tony!” And the guy didn’t turn around and he keeps running for blocks. He went right next to him for a couple of blocks and he went “Tony, Tony!” Finally the guy turns around, looks at him and starts running. Guy got afraid, and that’s when my father realized it wasn’t Tony. He’s such a nut my father. Why does he keep on running after him? Oh, he made me laugh, he was so funny. Oh, God.

 

“I hate war. We all hate war. Eleanor hates war, I hate Eleanor.”That was his!

 


My Mother – Rose DeLucia (née Izzo)

My mom was a beautiful woman, and she was the sweetest thing in the world, so sweet.

She worked like a dog. My mother’s mother died when my mother was only 13 and there were three brothers and a sister. My mother had to take over the job of being a mother to her three brothers and sister and took care of her father. When she was 13. And so she worked so hard at 13. Her sister, Delia who I can’t stand, aunt Delia said “Oh, I’m not staying home.” She went out to work. She wanted to work, she didn’t want to do anything in the house, nothing. So my mother did everything, raised her brothers and sister and took care of her father.

And then she had four children of her own and worked like a dog taking care of us, being poor and everything. And she used to have her brothers come to visit and she’d go around the corner and get bags of food for them so they could bring it home ’cause they were either out of work or something, I was so young I didn’t understand why she was doing all this. She was so good to them all the time, you know? But owing money to the person around the corner, to the grocery store, just to give them bags of food, all of them.

 

 

Corner grocer
Bay Parkway & 86th Street – 1951

So I didn’t realize until I got older that these brothers and sisters, they were like her children because she raised them, you know? And that’s why she was the way she was, so good to them. And I’m thinking, you know, we’re your children. Take care of us. Well, she always did anyway. But I’m just saying, I didn’t understand why she was doing this until I got older. I realized that they were like her children and that’s why she took care of them the way she did.

She taught me everything I am, cooking especially. She was a fantastic cook and I became like her, always cooking like a fiend, always cooking. And she gave me her big cake pan. That was her famous cake pan, she gave it to me only ’cause she said I was like her, cooking and baking the way she used to. I lost it, it was in the garage when we moved and I don’t know what happened to it, I’m so upset I don’t have it.

 

I was about five years old and I was walking with my sister Gloria, she took me someplace, I don’t know where and I was coming home with her. So anyway we came into the house, my mother was bathing me. She gave me a bath and while she’s drying my hair I said, “Mommy, you know what I saw today? Two nuts walking down the street.” She said “Nuts, what are you talking about?..You mean …” I said, “You know the nuts!” She said, “You mean peanuts? You know, walnuts?” I said, “No, you know the nuts mom!” She said, “You mean two crazy people?” I said, “No, not two crazy people.” And she kept asking me and I kept saying “No, that’s not it mom. You know the nuts that walk down the street.” Finally I said “You know Mommy, the ladies that wear the veil over their head, black veil over their head?” My mother said “Oh, you mean the nuns?” I said “Yeah.” And I was so happy and I wrote that story in my English class in high school and my teacher loved it so much he made me read it in front of the class and they were all laughing! Oh, you know the nuts that walk down the street. No, you know the nuts! I was crying too you know it. You have to understand me, come on understand me mom!

 

Nuns Sister Mercy, Brooklyn 1950s


 

Young Love

I had a Jewish girlfriend, my favorite girlfriend, we were very close. And I was always with the Jewish kids, they had parties and different places like I was talking about with the Catholic people. I used to go with her to these places and I fell in love with a Jewish boy. But he was too old for me. And my mother didn’t like it after I reached 14, that’s when she sent me to the Catholic place, you know, the confraternity.

I think my first date was this boy, Dick. He was crazy about me but I couldn’t love him. I don’t know, my first date may have been my prom date. This other guy, Al, I asked to take me to my prom. I don’t know why I didn’t ask Dick. I don’t know why I didn’t ask him at the time. I was 17 when I graduated, went to my prom. Al was from the confraternity, he liked me too but maybe I was wrong to ask him to take me to the prom. He had to pay money, but I gave him a gift. But I wasn’t in love with him and he wanted me to be his girlfriend. He smoked at the time, I gave him a cigarette case with his initials on it. I don’t know if it was silver, I don’t think it was real silver.

I remember going to the prom, the nightclub at night, a bunch of kids, you know, boys and girls, certain amounts stayed together and I had my first drink- I thought I would die. It got me so sick, I got very very sick to my stomach. It was a drink, I forgot the name of it, and it had cream in it. I can’t have cream with … I still can’t have dairy ’til this day. Cream in the liquor. Yeah, and I couldn’t finish it but I got so nauseous, I don’t remember whether I threw up there, I don’t remember. I was just extremely nauseous. That ruined my prom for me, that ruined my lovely day out.

 

Bacardi advertisement – 1963

It was wrong to feel sorry for this boy that I went with for years on and off ’cause he used to cry. Remember I told you that boy, Dick? Yeah, and I would never do that again or suggest that for anybody because it means leading them on. I don’t think it’s right for you to feel sorry for somebody and go with that, because in the long run you’re hurting them even more. So I wouldn’t do that ever again. In the long run you’re hurting them more by going with them ’cause you feel sorry, and they care so much for you… And Dick used to cry sometimes so I wanted to break off with him and, oh it was so hard. So he protected me from meeting other people, you know? ‘Cause I had to be his girl. I couldn’t cheat on him. So that’s a thing I would never do again if I ever had a chance.

 


 

Working Days

My father got a wonderful job in the city from somebody that he knew on Fifth Avenue, that’s where I worked, he got me and Gloria a job there, an office job there, an office building, 303 Fifth Avenue.

 

Source: P.L. Sperr collection, 1945

That’s where I worked my first job when I graduated. My father got us a job and he knew everybody in the building ’cause he was chief engineer of the building. He used to repair things, you know electrical things. He was an electrician first of all by trade and he’d take care of everything, elevators, so what would you call him? Really a maintenance man right? But he liked the sound of- chief engineer of the building.

 

 

Source: Life Picture Collection

And he knew the office, he knew everybody, so he found out that they could use some girls to work in the office and he got my sister and I a job, we worked together in the same office. While I was working for Aunt Gloria, she was in the entertainment field, so it used to bother her that she was doing office work. You know, my father wanted her to bring home real money so he made her get a job in the office and she was bad. So she’d be across from me typing, always angry, and I was so embarrassed ’cause the boss’s wife was there doing the bookkeeping at another desk, right, there were three of us in that office.

And she used to yell at me all the time that Gloria, always yelling across to me and I would internalize and hold it in and I started developing migraine headaches. And the day she was fired because she was always late and always angry and blah blah blah, they fired her and the day she left I never got a migraine again. I know it was her. I would never tell her that.

And then my father was so embarrassed, so insulted that she was fired, he wanted me to quit so I told my manager, I said “I’m quitting. My father wants me to quit, I’m quitting the job.” I was a secretary and biller. And he said “Oh, Pat, I don’t want you to go.” He said “I’ll give you a raise, I’ll give you a $5 raise, I’ll put curtains in the room, you don’t even have to do the billing anymore, just make sure the other girls in the office do the billing.” And I said “I don’t know, I’ll ask my father.” And my father said “You tell him if you stay you want a $10 raise.” So I went up there and I told him I have to have a $10 raise and he said “Okay.” So he gave me a $10 raise. And I stayed ’cause they wanted me to stay ’cause I was a good worker and I didn’t carry on like Aunt Gloria. She was unbelievable. Unbelievable. She’s still like that, when you talk to her on the phone, she’s always mad, angry about something, upset about something. Unbelievable.

 

 

A secretary hard at work
Life Picture Collection, 1961

I got paid weekly. And when I left there I was making $74 and when I started it was $45 a week and that was a lot of money in those days, nobody was making $45 a week in an office job. So I already started high. And when I left to get another job, I finally left that place after four years, the big boss wanted me to be his secretary and I didn’t want to because I couldn’t hear him, could you believe it?

He was so tall, handsome, German and when he talked I could never hear him. I wasn’t hard of hearing then, but I was afraid to be. I said when he dictates to me I’ll be asking “Excuse me, what?” I didn’t want to be his secretary so I left.

My father made me take the first job that came, you know that? He needed the money. He couldn’t miss out on my check ’cause I gave him a lot of money when I earned $45. I came home with $39 after taxes and I had to give my mother and father $25 and I kept $14. That was to eat lunch, take the train to work, eat lunch, buy clothes, $14. But I figured they needed it and that’s why I didn’t complain about all that.

And I got another job, the first job I went in and I told them I wanted $74 and they said $64 or something like that. And I took it, I had to take a cut in salary because I had to take the first job. But of course I kept getting raises there too so I don’t even know when I left.

I went four years at this job where I took a drop in salary, ’til I became pregnant (I married when I was at that job).  I was at the front desk and greeting people and I started showing and wearing maternity clothes and they didn’t want that anymore. So I had to leave. That’s okay, I wanted to anyway so I quit.

They’re not allowed to let you go now. Grandpa told me “You have to collect because they let you go.” He wanted me to collect unemployment, you know? So I asked the manager, Simon Legree, you see his face – he looked like a real Simon Legree! And I said “You know, technically you fired me. Could you give me a letter so I can bring it to unemployment?” And you could see his face … he did it but I couldn’t stand his face.

So I collected for a while. You can only collect ’til your seventh month or something like that and then I couldn’t get any more money. And then I never worked again.

 


 

Raising a Family

I worked harder raising four children and taking care of a husband. That was my life. But I had a nice life with my children, I love them so much, four of them. They were so adorable. I was a little over-protective, but you know, I don’t know I didn’t know how else to be. I think I was told by the children as they grew up. Uncle Steve tells me I was. You can ask your mother, she thought I was.

I was so afraid with Mrs. Bowdee, who had a summer home on the bay at Shinnecock, Long Island. She used to go there once in a while on the weekend with Rosemary and she wanted to take Janet along and I was so afraid that she’d be in the water, the house was right on the water, the bay and I was just so afraid, I wouldn’t let it go and Janet was so upset, she wanted to go. I let her go once in a while and Vivian said “I’ll watch them Pat, don’t worry I have my eyes out on them.” She had her own daughter to watch. So then eventually I let her go and then she started going a lot. But she’ll tell you that I was probably overly protective in the beginning about that.

 

Shinnecock Bay Lighthouse, Hampton Bays, NY

I was always afraid to let my children go any place in cars with anybody. And because of it, I had two terrible car accidents. One was your mother had a car accident and uncle Steve had a terrible car accident, both of them. All my being worried, what good is it? What I went through at that time nobody knows.

I don’t remember my parents being like I was. Maybe they were, maybe they sheltered me, I don’t know. All I know is that my mother was tired …

 

I sucked at driving. Fourth try I finally got a license. I was too fast, too slow, too something else. The fourth try I did it. Oh, that was funny. Oh, gosh. And then when my children were little, they had to tell me where to go. Do you believe it? They told me how to get to places ’cause they would remember how grandpa would drive them around, how they got to these places. Me, I said “Steve, you’re always going a different way. I’ll never learn how to get any place.” He’s always trying a different way, like trying different ways, he said, just in case I get stuck and I can’t go one way I know another way to go home, go some place, you know what I’m saying? But me, I would get all confused. So my children had to guide me. “Take this street, mom.” You go this way and that way. Oh, they were cute. I love my children so much like I love my grandchildren.

 

1975 Subaru GL Coup

That’s what I’m most proud of – my children. ’cause I raised basically good kids, you know? I know a lot of troubles other people have had with their children. I had a little trouble. But all in all it was fine. Put a lot of work into it.

 


 

To Stevie

I used to make a big cake when you used to come over. Remember that big round cake I used to make when you’d come over with Alex and Vinnie and even your mother? You don’t remember, sometimes I’d make half and half, you liked chocolate … no, you didn’t like icing on the cake so I’d leave half the cake without icing and the other I’d put icing either chocolate or vanilla Alex liked. You don’t remember?

What about Halloween? I used to have a little Halloween party for you. I baked a special kind of cake, oh it took me so long, I don’t remember what kind of cake it was. A man or something with a hat on. Oh, it was just a big job. And I think your mother took a picture of it. And I used to give you little bags of Halloween candy and a little gift inside and once you made fun of what I gave you, you said “You gave me a nail clipper.” Remember, I gave you a nail clipper?…

 

“You and Al. To pieces. I love you to pieces. Nieces to Pieces? Nieces to Pieces..”

I taught you so many things when your were little, God. Remember? Puzzles? It was putting puzzles together.  I couldn’t believe how you knew how to put that puzzle, that gigantic Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs together, my gosh. I pretended I was helping you, but I couldn’t really help you. You knew exactly where every part was, oh my. Then we put in on the pool table and you started sitting on the pool table down in the basement, remember?

And playing with all the toys that we used to go and buy, after we’d eat at the diner. We go to the, I forgot the name of that store, Modell’s or something, or one of those kinds of stores. Buy a toy down in the basement. We used to go down a big staircase. Don’t you remember down to the basement, and you’d walk around, and I’d say, “Only one toy Stevie.” And you knew exactly what you wanted, and then you said, “Can I have two grandma?” I said, “Okay,” so you got to pick out two.

Might’ve told you about one of the stories, I told everybody this story. They had a bunch of book on a table down in the basement there, and they had all the toys, I said, “You’re gonna buy some books now hunny.” So I sat down on something, I don’t remember what the heck, I was sitting waiting for you, and you sat on the floor and started looking through all the books. And I said, “Well, which one do you want Stevie? And you said, ” I don’t want any of them, I read them all.”

Oh gosh, Steven you are so funny, so funny, so determined. You want you wanted. You knew everything. Yeah, you looked through the pictures, you called that reading, but you were only a little boy. I think you were five. Four or five. No, you must’ve been three. ‘Cause I took care of you only for three years. The first three years, and then when your mother went to work she put you in a daycare. And then she took you out of that daycare, put you in another one. But you used to come and stay with me every weekend. You always were with me on the weekend. So you must have been three years old, gosh. Only three looking through all those books. Gosh. Three years old…

When I was taking care of you, grandpa came home and he was sitting in the kitchen waiting to eat, and you dragged this big thick dictionary, and you stood on it in the kitchen, and pretended you had a microphone in your hand, and you were going, “Blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Your mother came in and I told her, she took a picture of you doing it again, you did it again for her. I think she has a video.  Remember that? I never saw it, but she said took something of you, I don’t think it was a picture, I think it was a video. You must have seen some politician on the podium talking or something, and you did the same thing. That’s what you would talk, you were emulating. That was cute. I said, “He’s gonna be president someday.”

And then we used to play outside. I remember you saved me, the tree almost fell on me. You said, “Let’s not play ball anymore, let’s go in and watch t.v.,” and we walked away and this big tree fell down. It would’ve hit me on the… It would’ve hit you too your mother said. ‘Cause she said it extended that far down where you were standing, it would’ve hit you too. Crazy, wow, this big stupid tree.

 

 

“You think I’m wrinkly?”


 

Forgiveness

There was one time, once, when I wanted to get a divorce. My mother and father were down staying with us for a while. They used to come and stay a few days. I remember coming down in the morning, and my mother and father were in the kitchen, I said, “I’m getting a divorce,” and they looked at each other. I got on the phone and I called somebody, I asked him if he knew a divorce lawyer, he said, “No I don’t know of any.” I said, “Oh, okay, goodbye.” And grandpa came down going to work and he comes over as if nothing happened and he kissed me goodbye, and kisses my mother and father goodbye. I said to my mother, “Look, look he’s acting like nothing happened.”

And we made up. I don’t know, when he came home we made up. That was the only time I remember. I was gonna get a divorce. I don’t even remember what the argument was about, that’s the funny thing. That was funny. He didn’t even know. He didn’t even know anything. I don’t know. He was unbelievable, grandpa he was unbelievable. I hold a little grudge for a while. I hold grudges. But not with Grandpa, I got over it like one, two, three also. We made up right away.

But there were others… If I didn’t like what somebody would say, then I don’t wanna know them. Like grandpa’s sister, Aunt Farnes, couldn’t stand her. She had a very big mouth. And used to say things just off the head, say anything that come into her mind! Anyway I didn’t like her, and on my wedding day…well, I was growing my hair to wear a ponytail with my head piece for my wedding, the thing that the vail is attached to, you know? I was growing my hair long, and she knew it right? So, the head piece I fell in love with did not go well with a ponytail, it wouldn’t require that kind of a hairdo, so I had to have my hair cut short for this.. So, she came to the same beauty salon while I was having my hair done that morning with Nana Ruthy, with her mother. She’s sitting far away, and she said, “You grew your hair out just for you wedding, and now you’re having it cut, now isn’t that silly?” Exactly the words. Shouting it out to make everybody hear.

So I couldn’t stand her after that. I was cordial to her and nice. Every time I ever had to meet her, but I never wanted to go out with her, with her husband. We never really went out to much together, the four of us. I really could never stand her. But anyway, I held a grudge with her for years. But you wanna know something? After we got, are old now, I really have forgiven her, I don’t care, I’ve spoken to her on the phone. I really don’t care anymore about it.

It took me many, many years, but that’s just one of the people that I held a grudge. There are other people too, I just don’t remember what they were. And then in school if there was somebody I didn’t like, if they said something I didn’t like, I wouldn’t look at them anymore. I wouldn’t fight with them, or wouldn’t talk to them, do anything, just ignore them. That was my thing. To ignore.

 


 

Loss

I went to a therapist, plus I had a friend of mine at that time, Katie, that lost her daughter a week before I lost my son. So we were able to talk to each other, and cry together, get it out.

Grandpa would never ever talk Alex. I wasn’t allowed to say a word about him ever. So he internalized and therefore he developed diabetes. And I read in his diabetes manual. I used to get them, and I used to read them. And it said if you are obese, which he was heavy, and are under stress, you can get diabetes even though it’s not in the family. Doesn’t run in the family. ‘Cause it didn’t run in Danny’s family. Grandpa’s family. It was on my side of the family, diabetes, but not his side. And he internalized. Never ever mentioned Alex, and if you did try to say anything, he wouldn’t answer, or am I talking bad now? So that’s a bad thing. Very bad thing.

And Alex was gone 31 years I think now. And I still cry, I still cry. Every so often, over grandpa and him, and my son. You never think you’re going to lose your son, your children, before you die. Never.

Grandpa, he used to tell me, he used to say, “Pat you better get used to it, being without me, ’cause I’m gonna go first.” And I said, “No, I could go first, you never know what may happen.” But he used to say that to me. He had diabetes, and then he developed pancreatic cancer, there were a lot of problems.So he knew he was going to go first, I just didn’t wanna believe it, you understand that even when he died I didn’t believe it, it didn’t sink in right away? I don’t know if there was a special moment it sunk in, but it happened sort of after. I couldn’t believe, I just couldn’t believe it.

What happened was I kept thinking he’s going to live, even though they put him in hospice. I heard people live in hospice for a while. So your mother and I left the day they put him in hospice hospital, in Florida this is. But we were so tired, we didn’t sleep the night before, and all that. But we went home to nap and uncle Johnny said, “I’ll stay here.” They had a sofa in that room, and he said, “I’ll stay here on the sofa with daddy.” And he died while we left, after we left. Johnny held his hand, uncle Johnny and said, “You can go now dad.” He said that he was holding on, just holding on. To get everything done, all the paperwork and stuff, the legal things that John had to do for him. He said, “Everything is done now dad, you can go now.” And he died right then and held his hand.

Then he called us at home, I couldn’t believe it. I still didn’t believe it. I don’t know. I didn’t believe it right away… I don’t know. I did later on. Delayed reaction. Cried constantly. I still cried, just got better. You learn to cope after a while. You learn to cope. But something might remind you of it, and so you cry, tears come into your eyes. You know what I mean.

 

 


 

Grandpa Steve

Laughter. I think laughter is the secret for a successful relationship. I think grandpa and I got along so well … I used to laugh a lot at him, he was very funny.

First of all you should love the person especially going into your marriage. Very important to really think that is the partner for life. You’ve got to think, really feel that. Because so much happens in your lifetime while you’re married that changes a lot of this. So you could get divorced, you could have arguments… But you have to at least go into marriage really thinking this is what you want for life. And then a lot of laughter like I say and I don’t know what else to tell you… Of course you have to make sure you listen to what the other person is saying. And don’t think you know it all. You can’t think you know it all.

 

 

He won it fair and square

I guess he told you about how he got his… somebody’s… he beat somebody in playing some kind of a game. I guess it was marbles. Marbles? He won his wheelchair, right? For the kid’s wheelchair? Yeah, and he threw him out ’cause he had an old broken one, he had an old junky one. And he wanted this kid’s new one. He won it fair and square.

 

Children playing marbles game in the street 1947

 

He gave Jimmy the Greek a black eye

 

– “Was it Jimmy the Greek that took his cone? He was eating a cone or some ice cream? Yeah, he asked him if he wanted a bite and he took the whole the thing from him and he punched him. And Jimmy the Greek liked that. The fact that he stood up to him. I started protecting him, stuff like that.
-“Well you skipped the part where Jimmy the Greek beat the hell of him.
-“Oh he did?”
-“Yeah.”
-“Oh I don’t remember that.”
– “He gave him a black eye and then Jimmy the Greek beat the hell out of him.
– “He did?”
– “Yeah. And he went home crying.
– “I don’t remember that part. That’s funny, maybe I blocked it out. Maybe I blocked it I don’t know .
-“His dad said, “Go back and get him,” and he’s like, “What am I gonna do? Look what he did to me.”

 

Ice cream in Brooklyn, 1949

 

Want me to pull the fire alarm?

He told me later, I guess he was at NYU. He was talking about studying and Jimmy the Greek was like, “Oh you want me to go pull the fire alarm to get you out of the test?”

Like, is there anything I can do to help? Should I shoot that guy for you? No matter what it was right?

 

So he protected him

Jimmy the Greek was the one that protected grandpa when he started selling ice cream. Grandpa started selling ice cream to make some money to help his father put him through college. And somebody didn’t want him on the street ’cause it was his spot or something like that. I think he told, I think it was Jimmy the Greek said, “Well you’re gonna stay there, I’ll take care of it. If the guy wants to throw you out of that spot.” I think it was Jimmy the Greek, I’m not sure. Yeah. So he protected him.

 


Lower East Side, 1950’s


 

Gloria Sama v1


The North End

I was born right in the heart of the North End, where all the action took place. I was born right in the middle of everything – at North Square.

Salem Street, North End, Boston 1948

If you did something at 9:00 in the morning, I would tell you, by 12 noon, everybody knew it!

“That’s what the North End was.”

I couldn’t skip school because my Mama would find out. How? I don’t know. But I couldn’t even skip school.

When you’re followed all the time, you get rebellious. I skipped school to go see Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra had come to the Metropolitan, or one of those… And a whole of photographers were there with the newspaper. And I was telling my friends, “Don’t go near the newspapers.” So naturally, she went near the newspapers and we were all in the paper the next day. Then my mother found out. But not only my mother…I have a whole bunch of nuns from my high school that I have never forgotten.

“Don’t go near the newspapers!”
In December 1943, girls stood in line before 8 am to hear 28-year-old “Frankie Swoonatra” at the RKO Boston Theatre. He would receive “Beatlesque” responses from “bobby-soxers.”
A gang of bobby-soxer pals would certainly be easy to spot at a soda shop or movie theater because of their uniform-like outfits that revolved around ankle socks, which replaced stockings when nylon became necessary for producing WWII supplies. Typically, bobby-soxers would wear their ankle socks with saddle shoes, penny loafers or ballet-style slippers.

…And protection, we had nothing to worry about. We were protected. By other families, and especially by… the men. They were called the gangsters. But they were there and they protected us. We had no fear at all. From anything. From drugs.

One day I was having lunch and my friend and I were sitting at the counter and this person named Danny came out with something in his hands, and he went up to the person sitting next to me and I heard him say, “if you come again with these …, you’re going to be carried out.”

“We had no fear at all.”
Filippo Buccola and his underboss Giussepe Lombardo were top underworld figures in Boston’s North End during Prohibition. They were rivals of the Irish Gustin Gang led by notorious mob boss Frank Wallace. In 1932, Frank Morelli, who headed a ruthless and powerful gang that controlled bootlegging and gambling in Providence, Rhode Island, Maine and Connecticut, merged with Buccola’s group to create the New England mob faction.

Family

My mother never spoke English. She knew how to speak English, but spitefully she wouldn’t. I got to tell you, she was very spiteful. It was her will, or no will. Growing up, where my mother had a lot to say and a lot to do with us. And we obeyed her. No saying no to Nana. She didn’t know that word. Her word or no word. She lived to be a hundred. Her name was Assunta, which means risen. When Nana was born, everyone had a religious name. All my siblings too.

My two aunties – Little Aunt, and big Aunt, one was Matilda and one was Clementina. Even though they had different names, we would always distinguish them as Little Aunt and Big Aunt. Big Aunt didn’t have too much to say. Little Aunt had a lot to say. They would talk about something and Little Aunt would say, “Well, this is this!” – and that would be the end of the sentence… But, remember, my mother was boss! My mom, the last word. My mother was the oldest. Then Clementina, then Matilda, and then Uncle Joe.

We would see them at family events. The family would come over to the apartment. We had a very small apartment, we didn’t have a lot of money. That was definite, we didn’t. And the playground was the street. That’s where we learned how to ride a bike. And oh my God, it was loaded with Italians.

What we had, an awful a lot of, and I don’t mean to preach, but I think what is missing today – is family. Family together, and everything was family.

Children playing marbles game in the street, 1947
Little Italy apartments, North End, Boston

Childhood on the farm

I was fourteen years younger than my closest sibling. My sister’s sister-in-law, Aunt Theresa, had a farm when I was a child. I grew up in the city, but I spent a lot of time on the farm in the summers. I would go to the farm almost every weekend.

I learned how to drive on a truck! And on Saturdays, we would candle the eggs. Now they’re done automatically, but in the early years, candling the eggs meant putting the whole egg up toward the light like a candle to find out if it was okay, if the egg is okay to use.

The farm was in Medway. If you drive by it now you will see half a million, more than half a million dollar houses!

Middle Post Road, Medway, MA. Early 1900’s
Medway, MA today

Religion

Religion was a great part of my life. I kid a lot around how Nana was very religious. Always had rosaries in our hands and everything. But she meant her religion, and so did I. It meant a lot to me. I went to Catholic school, and it was not just Catholic school going, it wasn’t just being Catholic – it meant something to me.

In the North End, we used to have a feast every year in the summer. It was called the Saint Anthony Feast. That was the big one, and that was known as, “You don’t leave town on that one.” The streets would be full of Italians. With bands, and food, and stuff like that. Some people from New York, some stars, they’d come in and perform. It was a three day feast, it was huge.

When your mother was a little girl I took her every year, it was in August. I didn’t like going, but I didn’t want her to miss out on!

Do you remember the angel?…

Saint Andrew’s Feast 1945, North End, Boston.

Saint Anthony’s Feast has become the largest Italian Religious Festival in New England since 1919. It is celebrated annually on the weekend of the last Sunday of August. 2019 marks the 100th anniversary of the feast.
“Gotta go have a baby now”
 

Mertella Whyte

Childhood Memories

In Jamaica, I had cousins, grandparents all around. We were in Boston Bay – Kay Field. That’s where I was brought up, my mother’s house. The only thing was the house got bigger because the one we had was a wooden house, and they break it down and build that one.

4 young school boys are arranged behind a cricket batter in Kingston, Jamaica.
School boys playing cricket in Kingston, Jamaica in 1965. Source: The National Archives UK

My mom grew up the same area, but a different house. I don’t know much about my grandparents, just that we lived poor lives in the Boston Bay area. My grandfather worked for a parish council where they do the building of sidewalks, fixing up roads, things like that. My grandmother raised pigs, and that’s it.

I don’t remember if Jamaica was still a colony then. I think it was. We were using pounds and shillings.  

 
 

Escaping Jamaica

Mother’s Refusal

I had saved up enough money to fly to England because I did not want to raise my kids in Jamaica, but after I bought the ticket, the airline collapsed so I lost all the money I had saved and had to start over again. And I could not get any support from my parents to go either.

Green $100 dollar bill from Jamaica showing a man and a woman in swimsuits walking across the bottom of a waterfall.
One Hundred Jamaican Dollar Bill, undated. Jamaica gained independence from Great Britain in 1962. Source: Pixabay

My mother was a mess. Not even would she give me the money to buy anything. She tells me that my father had sent for her. He was in England. But she didn’t want to go, said she’d stay with the kids in Jamaica. So I said to her, “Mommy, we’re two different people. I want to go. You didn’t want to go, but I’m going.” This way, I didn’t know if she’d give the money or not, but she didn’t want to.

So right away I write to my father to see if he can send me a bit of money to buy a suitcase and a pajama. He said to me that it was a bad time, and he wasn’t working. He said, “Mommy have money, ask Mommy.” But she wouldn’t give it to me. And I cried and I cried and I cried. I didn’t know where to turn now. You can’t without a suitcase, and I had spent up all the money I have. I couldn’t make my mother change my mind.

No Regrets

But I had one aunt, my father’s aunt, who lived by the beach. I went to her and tears were coming down my face, and I said, “Aunty, can you give me some money?” Oh, I’m getting emotional about this again…

She said, “I don’t have much money because I don’t work, but the money I do have I’m going to give it to you. It’s the church money. But if you don’t give it back to me, I know Shined will.” My father was so black that he shined. They called him Shined. She gave me the money, and I was lucky to send it back to her after a couple of months. I was working, so I don’t see why I shouldn’t send it back.

In the meantime, my mother had her money and giving it to other people to go away, and she wouldn’t give it to me. Because she didn’t want me to come. She thought I wouldn’t go if she said no to me. I don’t know if she wanted me home in Jamaica to be with her.

I don’t know how she think because she throw me out at age 18, so I don’t know how she think. From the day I was 18 and she throw me out, I never go back there for a night’s sleep. And I never sleep on the street either. It’s a little messy story… But so far so good. I left home. I have no regret. No regret.

 
 

Coming to New York City

The New York Paper

Middle-aged man sits behind the desk at a newsstand ready to sell the newspapers hanging all around him.
New York City newsstand in the 1950s. Source: Wikimedia Commons

I was in New York from 1968 until the early 1970s. When I came here, I took the bus from Canada. It spent me, must be about a year, but my papers weren’t processed.  And then we kept on buying the New York paper, and we see jobs and they’re paying so much. They’re not paying us more than about $75 or a little money over there.

My sister came first – she got a sponsor. She looked in the paper where they advertised, and she came over first. My sister was staying where she lived. She was a maid, so she was sleeping with the family.

God is on my side

So I took the bus over, and I came over. When I got off the bus, I didn’t know where to go. The first night I came over I didn’t have a place to stay. I sleep at WYMCA. It was 34th street, no – it was 42nd street, so I asked the bus driver if he know someplace where I could get some sleep. He took me to 23rd street where there is a motel. When I went there, my heart was so big, I didn’t know what to do! You know when you’re alone in a place you don’t know nobody, and the walls…. but they have a bible on the bed, and that was comforting for the night.

10 story block-like YWCA building on the corner of a New York street.
The Harriet Judson YWCA in Brooklyn, New York, 1914. Source: Wikipedia Commons

Morning comes, and I wonder, “Where am I going?” But God is on my side. I got up and I go out. This is when the phone booth is on the street. I buy a paper off the street, and I take my suitcase, I don’t know where I’m going, but I know I signed out. I go to the phone booth with my newspaper and with my suitcase underneath my foot, and I’m making a call. You look in the paper and see advertisements for jobs.

I worked one week in Brooklyn. I didn’t want it there. So again, I pick up, and I leave. That woman had a dog and a girl there…it wasn’t for me. Anyway, I spent the week there, and I pick up and I come back to Manhattan. I still go on the phone and buy the paper.

And then I find this woman who asked me, “Oh you sound like a Jamaican, are you Jamaican?” And I said “Yes!” And she said, “My mother-in-law has a nice Jamaican girl, I hope you are one too. When can you come over for an interview?” I said, “Anytime you want me.” That was a Sunday.

She told me what time to go over, and I go over. She said let me take my little dress off. She wanted to see how I look, to make sure I didn’t look like a slob in her house. It was a nice young couple. After she interviewed me, she left me in the dining room area. I knew this woman who had given me a good reference because I was a good person to them.

Then she came back and she asked me, “Where are you going to sleep tonight? Where are you going to stay?” And I said, “I just got here, I don’t have a place.” She said, “You can stay here.” I’m going to call the girl who supposed to come in tomorrow and give her her salary and pay and tell her to pick up the rest of her stuff. I guess the other girl was not doing a good job. I guess not.

So I stayed there with her babysitting. She only had one child anyway. Her husband was a lawyer, and she was a model. So they lived on 88th Street and Madison Avenue.

One day when I was going to work, I saw they had a little white sheet covering up the sidewalk. Some woman committed suicide, threw herself off. She lived in an adjoining building. I said that was something… You know rich people, you never expect that from them. Yeah, but, it happened. 

 
 

Keeping the Family Together

I stayed at the Manhattan job until my kids came. They were small, but not babies. Your mother came in the 1970s.

Well, you do what you have to do. Their father was there, and I know he loved his children. He may not love them now because they grow up and have mouth, but I know he cares about his children. There was nothing to him like his children. You would see him on his bike and them on it. They get on his bike too. Yeah, I knew they were fine.

And besides, and when you’re in a country and you’re getting your papers due, you can’t leave the country like you want to. You have to wait to get your papers too. I could leave to go to Canada, but I couldn’t leave to go back to Jamaica. So that’s the story.

I went to Canada and got my papers, and the same year I went back down to Jamaica and got married so I could then sponsor the kids. But you have to be a citizen before you can sponsor them.

If I didn’t have children and had to sponsor them, I wouldn’t have married your grandfather. The children did it. We stayed together. You never know.

After all these years you invest so much with him, and now you’re going to leave and someone else is going to come in to get what you invest with him. So, sometimes, you know… no one said it’s worth it – Right overall, that’s what I’m looking at. And when you tell me to make that decision, I don’t know.